Monday, November 2, 2009

This is the Day

Today has not been my finest day. It has just been a really bad day.

The princess (who has been potty training/trained for about 3 or 4 weeks now (I can't remember anymore - I know I'm awful for not keeping up with these things) has been refusing to pee pee for the past few days. I'm talking to the point that she just starts leaking. She always gets so embarrassed and cries when she does it, which makes me feel awful. I hate seeing her sad. I know she needs to go, b/c she walks around holding herself all the day long. She says it hurts, so I sit her on the potty and massage her belly/bladder area and she cries and wants me to stop, causing me to cry, but then she goes potty. Whew. Tonight, while eating dinner, she peed and didn't even realize it, I actually had to say something to her and she looked totally surprised. If this continues for another day or so I may be making a call to the Dr. As an infant she had kidney reflux, but it hasn't given her any problems since, but this CAN'T be good for her to hold it so long. Lovely.

This morning the kids wake up at 6 a.m. Yup. Both of them. This isn't TOO terribly early for the prince, but princess usually sleeps until at least 8, usually I have to wake her up at 8:30. I want to interject that I LOATHE time changes, whoever thought of them did NOT have kids. Anyway, when when we get up this morning, we go downstairs and snuggle for a bit, then I end up being kicked and hit and elbowed and having toys shoved in my face. *sigh*

Ok, snuggle time is over....obviously. Then they start arguing over toys and books and fight me while I try to change a diapers and put panties on a certain little girl - I'm not naming names though.

It doesn't help that when my kisa (knight in shining armor) gets up with the kids he always tells me how good the kids are and how much fun they end up having, even though he's tired and didn't really want to get up with them. WHY can't they do this for me? Every morning is a struggle, it seems.

Don't get me wrong. Everyone tells me how wonderful and well behaved my kids are - even people who don't know me. I know they are great kids, but we've been having some testing of limits at home lately. I'd much rather them test at home, than in public or with sitters.

Back to my day. I decided to make a nice breakfast. I have no idea what possessed me to do this, but I just wanted something warm and not oatmeal. I find a recipe for which we have ALL the ingredients. Yippee!'s only 3 points (yup, doing WW and it's going great so far). Bonus.

I start making breakfast and princess wants on the counter to help. Ok, fine. Then she wants down and up and down and blah, blah, blah. Finally, she has an accident, so I get her settled and run upstairs to find her some more undies and pants and clean up. All the while kisa is sleeping. I'm glad he is though. He deserves it. He is far too good to me and he deserves to sleep in.

He comes down a bit later and attempts to herd the cats - erm, kids - so that I can finish breakfast. Finally, it's finished. It took an hour and a half when it should have only taken 45 minutes. But it's finished and it's an ok breakfast. Princess refuses to eat anything but her apple, but she's not a breakfast person. The prince loves it.

This was just the beginning of my day. It continued on like this all day. We attempted to go for a walk, but kisa and I started arguing as soon as we got out of the driveway, so we didn't walk far or long and I was steaming.

This is NOT something we are used to....arguing, that is. We really never had many of them until we had kids and we had been married over 5 years at that point. It's getting worse, it seems, these days. We discussed it later and realized that we feel all our energy is put towards being "mom and dad" and we just feel like we don't have any left over to be "husband and wife". Not only that...we also haven't done a nightly devotional in a long time and our nightly prayer time as a result has greatly suffered. Any recommendations on couples nightly studies?

After putting the kids down for nap I ran out to the grocery store. I came home with a few things, including a couple gallons of milk. Pulling into the garage, I run into the tool bench, denting it. I think the car is ok, but I'm too upset to look at it now. As I bring the groceries in I realize I'm getting wet and have NO idea why. Then I look down to see a milk trail from the car to the door and milk all over my jeans and shirt. I get inside and and say out loud with a voice filled with tears, "I HATE this day!"

And then GOD spoke. I heard Him LOUD and CLEAR. "This is the day the LORD has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24)

I don't want to hear this right now. I can't find anything to rejoice about today. So I pushed it aside and ignored that thought. Meanwhile, things kept getting worse. The verse came back. Again. And again. And again.

Finally, the kids are asleep and I've been stewing about my day. Kisa and I have apologized, but he's at work and we both are still....not ourselves yet. I hate this. I love him so much and just want to hug him, have him hold me and tell me he loves me that that it will be a better day tomorrow.

So I sit here, at 10:25 p.m. writing this when I wanted to be in bed at 9:30. God had different plans. He nudges me again, "This is the day the LORD has made. REJOICE! Be glad!"

So, why am I glad?

  • I have a Father who loves me and speaks to me and brings me to my knees when I need tonight.
  • I have a husband and two amazing children who love me despite my MANY flaws.
  • My kids tried their hardest to make me feel better tonight by snuggling on the couch with me for over an hour while watching tv (yeah, shouldn't have watched so much today, but hey, I wasn't up for much today).
  • And so, SO much more.

If you made it this far, thanks. Sorry I rambled. I needed to get this off my chest and really have no one to talk to right now.